cydniey's podcast

song by c0ntaX of phrenetic.org, lyrics and spoken performance by cydniey

lyrics:

rage rover rant

is fear the quiet gurl in the back row who always wears black?
is fear the perky ladder climber with no panties and a loose tongue?
is fear the idea that they are better than you?

it's a spin on a ride you didn't ask to take when you packed up the truck and went back where you belonged and who wasn't waiting there for you and what things didn't you find and when is this going to run out so you can stop and remember because when it's too good to believe someone is bound to come in and steal your teddy bear . . .

is fear the unrepressed joy that oozes when you see the lights?
is fear the mere thought that those lights shine only for you?
is fear the idea that you are not the only one who is ready and willing to believe that?

it when he looks through you and you can see that in his eyes and you can see so much more like the fact that while he is looking through you he does not see you at all and he is not sure that he wants to and then you turn to someone else and you see the same thing that no matter what you choose to lay on the table they all see that you have a full house and there is no point trying to tell them any different.

is fear the thought of chaos or the relentless urge to roll around in it?
is fear the realization that insecurity really has nothing to do with the games you play?
is fear the power that makes you walk across the room and say the words?

it's still being so obsessed by the one thing I never got I never understood and having it in my face and my head and my lungs and still not getting it and now knowing why and also knowing that why is a lie and there is no real reason and being so frustrated so soon and not being able to wrap back up in myself and stop thinking thinking thinking about all of that and just use and use like they seem to.

is fear knowing that they don't compare?